I had a strange dream last night. I dont remember much of it. I was sitting in a room next to an elderly lady. She was knitting something that looked like a cross between an arm-band and a scarf. Somehow I knew it was meant to be knotted at the wrist, like a bracelet.

I was making one too, but mine didn't look like hers. She had an ornate gold and green one, and mine was all one shade of deep red. I asked her over and over again how to get mine to have all of the intricate gold tassles and decorations, but she kept repeating, "You have to figure it out yourself. I did, and you will, and your daughters will too. It's not something that can be taught, it can only be learned."

I have an idea of what it means, but...I dunno. It seemed important, so I'm sharing.

I need some advice on a recent tarot reading. It is very, very hard for me to read for myself. Especially using the tarot. A lot of the meanings are too ambiguous for me to be able to read for myself. So, I'm asking for help, yo. I know what I *think* it is saying, but I need an objective eye.

Ok, so I used the Celtic Cross spread.

Pos.1: Justice
Pos.2: 3 of Wands
Pos.3: Ace of Swords
Pos.4: 4 of Cups
Pos.5: 10 of Wands (reversed)
Pos.6: King of Swords (reversed)
Pos.7: 9 of Wands (reversed)
Pos.8: 10 of Pentacles (reversed)
Pos.9: King of Pentacles
Pos.10: The Hanged Man

So. Opinions, anyone?

Pax,
Li

***This is a rough draft. I just wanted to get it posted so that I could receive feedback.***

Samhain 2006 Recap:

Late Morning

November 5, 2006

Let me preface this recap by saying that I definitely did not prepare properly for this ritual. I had planned to go to a Samhain ritual on the 31rst of October at our local Unitarian Universalist church. I was unable to for a number of reasons. I was not as prepared for this ritual as I should have been, and the omens definitely reflected that.

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I took a picture of my ancestor shrine, in case anyone was wondering what it looked like:




The pictures are mostly people from my Dad's side (the Bergs and Carusos), but all of my mom's family pictures are in the main house, I and I don't think she would like it if I appropriated them.

For Samhain I think I'm going to go to the local UU church to their Samhain service/ritual thingie. I need to start attending more public ritual, I think. Also, it'd be cool to see how other people do things. I wanted to go to Houston to the grove that *was* there, but apparently it's not there anymore? Not sure what's up with that. Oh well. UU should be fine.

So, those are my plans.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Pax,
Li

Hey everyone. I have a question for y'all.

Okay, so my Grandpa (mom's dad) and his wife (third) are coming to visit us this weekend. I like my Grandpa, he's cool. But, ever since he married Debra, he has become somewhat devout-Christian-like. He never used to be like that at all. He didn't even like going to church. But, recently he got saved and was baptised and all of that, and I'm happy for him. He seems more peaceful and calm since these things have happened.

My question is this: I am torn between altering (hah) my altar to make it look slightly less altar-like so as to avoid some kind of confrontation with someone I love (who also happens to have heart problems), and just saying "Fuck it, if he loves me and he even notices it, it won't matter."

I think I might be worrying a bit for nothing, but I'm still a bit concerned. I don't want to make any excuses for my faith. If he asks me straight out, of course, I will tell him the truth. I have not lied or avoided the subject of my faith for years, and I don't plan to do it ever again. I just don't like conflict. I admit, I'm scared of it. I feel like changing the layout of my altar just to appease conflict would be doing a kind of dis-service (or even insult) to my Gods. And also, there's the fact that Cernunnos with his lovely antlers could easily be mistaken for some sort of Satan-figure. I am *not* going to go so far as to hide their statues away. So any re-arrangement could be futile, anyway.

I guess I'm anticipating some sort of "conversation" about my religion, and I don't expect it to be pleasant. My mom and my brothers know about my religious choices, as do all of my friends. I am perfectly candid with anyone who asks. My dad hasn't asked (although I'm sure he suspects), or he would know everything as well.

But with family it's so hard, isn't it? It's easy to tell perfect strangers what you believe, you have no emotional investment in their opinions.

Blech. Any advice/anecdotes would be very much appreciated. If any of you know of anyone who has been in a similar situation and might have something to add, I'd appreciate it if you point them here to give advice. Thanks.

Pax,
Li

On Saturday morning, I performed my Autumn Equinox ritual. I used the Mabon ritual in Skip's A Solitary Druid as a template. I've kind of completely avoided doing any sort of Celtic ritual lately. I did at Imbolc. That ritual was entirely about Brigid. But I haven't since then, so I decided that Saturday would be Mabon, and not Gleichentag.

So, anyway. In all, the ritual went incredibly well. I have never, ever felt that focused or full of what I *think* I am supposed to be feeling during the Two Powers meditation. I actually carried that feeling of being saturated with the powers of earth and sky throughout the entire ritual (until the end, when the meditation was reversed). I have never accomplished that before, and I was very proud of myself in some small way.

I decorated my altar a bit more for the season than I usually do. Maybe this helped me to get into my ritual state of mind. Anyone who wants to see my Autumn Equinox Altar (who hasn't already) can see it here: http://pics.livejournal.com/ariansdreams/pic/0001sqz0/g12

I didn't feel harried or rushed at any time. I think I am finally getting used to using ADF's order of ritual. It settled over me like a warm blanket. I know what happens next. This is comforting to me.

It struck me that I enjoyed using Mannanan as a gatekeeper. I literally felt it when the gates opened. I have also never felt that before. I'm not sure if it was my comfort level that allowed this, or Mannanan himself, but whatever it was, everything just "clicked" on Saturday.

I made offerings of flowers, olive oil, silver, incense, beer, pumpkin bread, herbs, and a poem I wrote for the occasion.

Here were the omens drawn:

Question #1: Were the sacrifices offered accepted?
Answer: Ansuz. I felt that this was a positive or neutral rune, but it did imply some distance between the Kindreds and myself. I know the reason for this, so I wasn't too surprised. I took it to mean that the sacrifice was accepted, but they'd rather have my time every day than lots of sacrifices every 6 weeks or so. I got the message, definitely.

Question #2: Do the Kindreds wish me to know of anything coming in the weeks ahead?
Answer: Mannaz. I took this to mean that it would be important for me to focus upon my relationships with others during the coming weeks. Some of my friendships have been strained lately, so this made a lot of sense. Also, my brother is going to come to visit around Samhain, and my grandparents the middle of October.

Question #3: Is there anything else that I should know, or that the Kindreds would like to tell me?
Answer: Berkana. I liked this rune because I could see how it tied into the two previous ones I'd drawn. It made sense. In both growing closer to my Gods and in growing closer to my friends and family, I am going to have to put aside my childish pride and assume the role of the healer/empath.

In the case of the first rune, I know that I need to heal myself. I need to spend time with my Gods, and forgive myself for the mistakes I've made.

For the second rune...there are people in my life who are definitely on the edge right now. I need to be there for them in only a support capacity, not as an advisor or lover or sister or anything else. Only as a friend who wants the best for them.


I also set up an ancestor altar for the season. It has pictures and other items that remind me of those who have passed. I also included one picture frame that was left blank, to represent the ancestors whose names I do not know, and those that will come after me. I see my ancestors as a long line of people stretching before and after me.

I will be meditating at this ancestor altar every night until Samhain. I also have a selection of jewelry that either was given to me by deceased ancestors, or it belonged to them. I am trying to wear a piece of it every day so that their influence can permeate my life.

So, anyway. That's my high day recap. If someone thinks I need to add something else, let me know!

Thanks for reading.

Pax,
Li

Okay, here's the story y'all:

I did a rune reading regarding the details of my relationship with someone. It was a very positive reading, and one of the runes that showed up was Wunjo. I shared the reading with him, and he was all excited about it as well.

I want to buy him a pendant with Wunjo on it, to remind him of the joy and bliss that we bring to one another's lives. I'm pretty sure that this is okay, but I wanted to ask people who know more than me about it first. Is there anything I should know about anything negative that could come from this?

Any and all advice is appreciated.

Thank you,
Elicia

Thought people might want to see a pic of my new runes and rune bag thingie.

I also made the bag myself (it looks okay in the picture, but I sewed it REALLY fast, so it's not perfect). It is made from undyed linen. I think I want to make a leather pouch to put the drawstring bag in. But that is a project for when I am not so poor!

Click the picture for a larger view.



As you can see, they are lovely and primitive looking...exactly what I was going for. :)

Pax,
Li

So. I'm back. I kinda took a break from LJ there for a while. The experience of sharing my life is a little much for me sometimes. I'm not exactly a "sharey" person by nature. But I'm ready to come back now.

So, I'll tell you what I've been up to lately, religious-wise.

With regard to the *super-secret* project...I am going to post about it now. Some items still have not arrived, but I figure all the anticipation (if there ever was any in the first place) has about dissipated by now. So...here goes. Excuse the incompleteness atm. Certain Canadian ebayers take a long time to ship. Okay, now for real:

"I know an ash--its name is Yggdrasil, high tree, holy--
drenched with white mud. From it come the dews that fall in
the valleys. It stands forever green above the Weird's well."

-Edda, Snorri Sturlson, pg. 19

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Okay, so I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon for a vacation to see my Dad and brothers in FL.

I have put together my travel shrine. It is basically a small bowl, a tea light, and a stick. I like it. I also included very small items that remind me of Freyja and Cernunnos. Also a small charm representing my spirit guide animal thingie. Otherwise known as "the big giant fluffy rabbit." Which I find incredibly ironic. A big huge fluffy bunny led me to ADF, in a roundabout way. *laugh*

My *super secret* project is still on hold. I am waiting for two objects to arrive. I promise it will be worth the wait, though.

My runes are all cut out, but they will have to wait to be carved and stained until I get back. I am done with the hard part though, I think.

So there is a small update. I probably won't be posting in this LJ until I get back (on the 26th), but I might be posting smaller updates in my regular LJ.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Pax,
Li